


waited all my life

by rweasley (hhwgv)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canonical Character Death, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:18:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22220146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hhwgv/pseuds/rweasley
Summary: Hermione's life will always be split in two: before and after
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Fred Weasley
Comments: 4
Kudos: 60





	waited all my life

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was written for HogwartsOnline's Songfic OWLs for the prompt "They Don't Know About Us" by One Direction. Sorry that I'm bad at titles and descriptions.
> 
> It is also my first time writing for Fred/Hermione, so hopefully I did them justice!!

**BEFORE.**

The heat of summer had settled over the Burrow and, in an effort to combat it, the Weasleys, joined by Harry and Hermione, had decided to spend the day swimming in one of the ponds on the property. Hermione had brought a book along with her, content to sit in the shade of one of the large trees and watch the others swim. The heat wasn’t unbearable to her like it seemed to be for the rest of them.

“Come on, Hermione,” Fred called from the water. “Join us!” Hermione looked up in time t o see him waving her over, his trademark cocky grin on his lips.

Hermione couldn’t help but smile watching him, but she shook her head. “I’m busy!” She shouted back, and his expression twisted into the faux-puppy dog eyes he’d tried on her numerous times. She shook her head again, it wouldn’t work this time. She turned her attention back to the book in her hands.

“You look hot over here by yourself,” Fred was right in front of her now and Hermione couldn’t help but jump. She hadn’t noticed him walking up and she blushed at his words, hoping it wasn’t as obvious as she thought it was.

“And by that you mean…” she trailed off, a teasing edge to her voice.

“Temperature, of course,” Fred winked, flopping down onto the grass next to her. She moved her book away from him as he shook his head, beads of water flying from his wet hair.

“Good,” she replied, attempting to sound serious, “anything else would be inappropriate.” She fought back a smile. Fred didn’t even try to hide his grin.

Fred nodded with faux sincerity. “Obviously,” he agreed, unable to keep the laugh out of his voice. “But then again, I’m not known for being appropriate.” Before Hermione could react, he’d pulled the book from her hands and tossed it onto the ground beside them. She protested, but it fell on deaf ears as he hooked one of his arms underneath her legs and cradled her back with the other one, carrying her bridal style towards the pond.

“Fred!” Hermione shrieked indignantly, “Put me down right now!” She tried to sound authoritative, but she knew by the way her heart fluttered that it wasn’t working. He’d picked her up more easily than Hermione thought should be possible, and he made it seem effortless as he waded into the cool water. His smile was blinding and he had a mischievous glint in his eyes. Her skin tingled where he touched it and, though she acted otherwise - she had to put on a show for the others - she loved the way his body felt, pressed up against hers. 

“You just looked so hot,” Fred told her in a low voice. They were already almost waist-deep in the pond and he didn’t show any sign of stopping. “You need a little dip to cool you off,” he laughed, “hopefully you’re wearing your bathing suit under this pretty dress of yours.”

“Fred Weasley, don’t you dare drop me into this water,” she was mostly serious now. She wasn’t interested in getting all wet, but she knew that it was inevitable. Everyone was watching them, amused.

“Throw her in!” George called out, splashing towards them. The others joined in and, though she had tried to ready herself for it, the cool water was still a shock to her system.

She wouldn’t admit it, but the water felt nice against her flushed skin. She did her best to ignore the part of her that wanted nothing more than to be held by Fred again. She emerged from the water spluttering and gasping for breath. “I’m going to get you for this,” Hermione said once she’d regained her bearings, though her threat lacked malice.

“You’ll have to catch me first,” Fred winked before disappearing beneath the water, resurfacing a short distance away.

The rest of the day, Hermione did her best to avoid being too close to Fred, trying to maintain the right amount of space between them. It worked until supper, when Fred sat right next to her. He traced patterns along her thigh throughout the entire meal, which was both distracting and pleasurable. Thankfully, everyone was wrapped up in their own thoughts or conversations that no one seemed to notice.

Hermione waited patiently for Ginny to fall asleep before she crept out of the room and down the stairs, doing her best to be as quiet as possible. She’d made the trip enough times that she knew which spots to avoid, which steps creaked the loudest. Everything was louder at night, but the Burrow was never silent, so she doubted anyone would have noticed either way. She snuck out of the door and through the garden to their normal meeting place.

There was a part of Hermione that felt guilty - not for choosing Fred over Ron, but for sneaking around and hiding it from the people she considered her best friends. Fred was facing away from her when she approached, so she pushed herself up onto her tiptoes and covered his eyes with her hands. “Guess who?” she whispered into his ear, noticing the way the hair on the back of his neck stood up.

He spun around slowly, trailing his hands along her bare arms, which she’d looped around his neck. A soft smile crossed his face and Hermione felt herself melting - it was the smile reserved just for her, just for these quiet moments between them. He pressed a kiss to her lips and she pressed herself against him. “You were late,” Fred murmured, “I was beginning to think that you were mad about this afternoon.”

Hermione couldn’t help but laugh. “I am,” she said, putting on an exaggerated pout. “You owe me for that.”

“I think I can make it better,” Fred replied, his trademark cocky grin crossing his face.

“I’d like to see you try,” Hermione replied, an obvious challenge. Fred wasted no time before kissing her again, harder and deeper than the previous kiss had been. She tangled her fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck - she never wanted this to end.

He pulled away slightly, leaving their foreheads pressed together. “Do you ever think of telling people about us?” he asked. His hands were on her hips, his thumbs caressing the delicate skin. The heat of the summer day hung in the air between them as Hermione searched for the words she wanted to say.

It wasn’t the question Hermione had been expecting, but she knew that they would have to have the discussion eventually. “Sometimes,” she answered honestly, “but I’m worried that it could change things between us. I like these moments with you, I don’t want to lose them.”

Fred was quiet for a moment and Hermione wondered how he would feel about her response. “Why does anything have to change?” he pulled back so he could see her face more clearly. “I love you, Hermione, and that’s not going to change because other people know it.”

Hermione could’ve sworn her heart skipped a beat and she could feel herself starting to blush. “You love me?” she echoed, clearly startled by the confession. It was the first time he’d said that, and it was the first time she’d heard it from someone outside of her family.

“Of course I love you,” Fred replied, a small smile crossing his lips. “I’d be mad not to.”

It was her turn to grin. “I love you, too.”

**AFTER.**

Early morning sunlight streamed softly through the open bedroom window and Hermione groaned, pulling the blankets over her head to block out the light. The voice in the back of her head told her that she should get up - there were things to do, people to help, a castle to rebuild. She didn’t have time to stay in bed, but she found herself unable to move. Her heart ached when she thought about what happened. It was  _ wrong _ . They’d lost so many people, so many people had sacrificed their lives in the quest to stop Voldemort, it wasn’t fair. She didn’t want to think about it, didn’t want to let her mind go there. But it was hard when she was staying at the Burrow, in  _ his  _ old bed, and it felt like she was about to break.

Usually, Hermione wouldn’t let herself slow down - she would force herself to focus on something,  _ anything _ but her pain. There was always something that needed to be done, something else to think about. It was as though she was trying to outrun her grief.

Now it was as though her entire future had been stolen from her. She wasn’t a stranger to pain or loss - she’d lost her grandmother when she was young, she erased herself from her parents’ memories - but this was something else entirely. This was something she couldn’t avoid, something that would change the trajectory of everything she wanted in life.

Her entire body ached with longing. She would do anything to have him in her arms again, to hear his laugh, to kiss him one more time. This was not the way things were supposed to go. He wasn’t supposed to leave her like this. They had  _ plans _ \- they were going to get their own flat in London. He and George were going to continue to expand the shop, she was going to get a prestigious job at the ministry. They were going to be happy. They were going to love each other until they were old and grey.

Though he hadn’t slept at the Burrow since he and George had gotten their flat in Diagon Alley, the bed still smelled like him, slightly smokey, with an edge of sweetness. She hugged the pillow to her chest, inhaling as deeply as she could before the realization dawned on her - being wrapped up in his blanket was the closest she could come to being wrapped in his arms. She could no longer control the waves of emotions that welled up inside of her.

She felt the last dam break.

Her grief washed over her all at once, all of the feelings she’d been holding back were released. It was so immense that she thought she might drown in it, and she didn’t care anymore. Tears streamed freely down her face and she made no move to control them or wipe them away, allowing them to soak into the sheets. Her lungs felt like they were about to collapse - her breathing was ragged and hoarse and she was unable to draw a proper breath, lost in the overwhelming darkness of her pain.

The last words he said to her echoed in her head, playing on a constant loop.

“I love you, Hermione. Forever.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment/kudos if you enjoyed, and feel free to leave any constructive criticism!


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